Religion

I.

I've been pretty focused on religion lately. I'm not sure why it's been such a topic in the old brainal region, but it has been, and I've kind of enjoyed it. And now for my report - after months of pondering, I've come to the following conclusion: the whole idea that there could possibly ever be a God is completely fucking insane.

How can people get so certain about JC? How can anyone look at this world and think "oh man! God gets angry when you do that!" Doesn't anyone understand the idea of chance, of the random? I think it's the stockholm syndrome. Your parents get to you at a young age, and at first you're all: "this is retarded, that's just not true," but soon enough you go: "verily, the world worketh thus," despite all evidence to the contrary. And once you're there, man, there's no talking you back. Any coherent arguments are obviously directed by the devil.

If you open your eyes for one second it becomes pretty obvious that there is no God out there watching, punishing us for our misdeeds, and cheering us for our good acts.

Of course, believers out there will read the above and say - that's untrue! Look at how things happen, and tell me it didn't happen for a reason. Katrina! New Orleans - city of sin! Of course it missed the homos, but god's aim isn't always true. Another example, from my own life: if I don't get drunk and almost break my ear off, I'd have never met the woman who became my wife. Therefore, god made me share that half gallon of southern comfort with my friends, made me overconfident in my sense of balance, and made me wound my self sufficiently that I walked up to the woman I now love and say "check out my fucking ear!" Thank you Jesus!

Or, I could be looking back at my life and giving reason to a series of (frankly, stupid) events that turned out really well. Things don't happen for a reason. Things happen, then we find a reason. And we call it "God's will."

II.

As I get older, it becomes clearer and clearer to me that most of humanity are born with an innate belief in the supernatural. Ask any child if they believe in God and the answer is not only yes, but it's a yes with a sense of disbelief that anyone could even ask the question. Is this because children are closer to the ether? That they have some inner remembrance of the afterworld? Or is it some sort of evolutionary tic? Some development in our psyche that has the benefit of allowing our large brains the will to continue in a cold, dark, uncaring universe? Hell I don't know. Maybe one. Maybe a little of both. Maybe neither.

What's clear, however, is that God isn't some guy named Jesus, he didn't talk to Mohammad, and he didn't give Moses a bunch of rules that told humanity that, basically, he hated us. (To steal from Tim and Eric - "Happy Birthday, humanity! I'm disappointed in you".) Let's not even worry about Scientology or Mormonism or any of the really retarded religions right now.

And that leaves us with Buddhism*, which is probably wrong, too, but at least is brave enough to realize a picture of the universe without a deity.

So there we have it. There is no God. There might be something more, there might be some reason to all of this, but my gut tells me no. A universal conscience? Maybe. A stern father up in the sky who gets really upset when you fuck wrong? No way. But who will read this blog and change? Not a person. And the 21st century will roll right on, Christians hating Muslims hating Jews hating Christians hating Muslims hating Jews, and we'll keep right on killing each other because we will never fucking learn a goddamn thing, ever.



*I don't know enough about Hinduism to have much of an opinion of it, though I do believe it is instrumental in keeping the caste system going, which is pretty much a bullshit system for all but the Brahmin. The untalented Brahmin at that.